When I moved to the U.S. in 2019, I never expected that my American friends would find the Dutch language so amusing. At first, I didn’t understand what was so funny—after all, these were just normal words and expressions I had used my entire life. But the more I explained them, the more I started to see their humor. Now, I have to admit, Dutch can be pretty hilarious! Here are some of the funniest Dutch words and phrases that will make you laugh out loud.
1. Broodje Aap (Monkey Sandwich)
You might think this is a quirky Dutch snack, but actually, a broodje aap is the Dutch term for an urban legend or a tall tale. Why a monkey sandwich? Nobody knows for sure, but it definitely paints a funny picture!
2. Kletskoek (Chatter Cookie)
If someone is talking nonsense, you can call it kletskoek. It’s a playful way to say that what they’re saying is complete nonsense, but it sounds delicious at the same time.
3. Fietsbel (Bicycle Bell)
Okay, this one isn’t inherently funny, but say it out loud in an American accent. Sounds like feets bell, right? It’s a simple word, yet it gets a laugh every time.
4. Lekker Ding (Tasty Thing)
In English, calling someone a “tasty thing” might get you some weird looks. But in Dutch, lekker ding is a playful way to say someone is attractive. Context is key, of course—just don’t call your meal a lekker ding at a romantic dinner!
5. Hondenweer (Dog Weather)
In Dutch, terrible, rainy weather is called hondenweer. Apparently, even dogs don’t want to go outside when it’s that bad! It’s the perfect way to describe those miserable rainy days (which unfortunately for the Dutch are a lot of days).
6. Zakkenvuller (Pocket Filler)
A zakkenvuller is not someone who casually stuffs their pockets with things, but rather a greedy person who only cares about making money. A pretty accurate metaphor for some, don’t you think?
7. Slap Lullen (Floppy Chattering)
This one might raise some eyebrows! Slap lullen means talking nonsense or rambling. It’s a great phrase to throw in when someone just won’t stop talking.
8. Koekeloeren (Cookie-peeking)
No, this has nothing to do with cookies! Koekeloeren means to peek or spy on something. It’s often used in a playful way to describe someone sneakily observing a situation.
9. Kruimeldief (Crumb Thief)
This is the Dutch word for a handheld vacuum cleaner. It literally means "crumb thief," which makes perfect sense when you think about its job!
10. Uitwaaien (Blowing Out)
The Dutch have a word for taking a walk in windy weather to clear your mind—uitwaaien. It’s a simple but oddly poetic concept that doesn’t really exist in English.
11. Kippenvel (Chicken skin)
The Dutch don’t get "goosebumps" like English speakers—they get chicken skin! This word perfectly describes that moment when you're cold, scared, or deeply moved by something, and tiny bumps appear on your skin.
12. Met de deur in huis vallen (Falling with the door into the house)
This odd phrase means getting straight to the point. It makes absolutely no sense in English, but in Dutch, it perfectly captures someone skipping all formalities and jumping right into a conversation.
13. Doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg (Just act normal, that’s crazy enough)
This classic Dutch saying reflects the no-nonsense attitude of the Netherlands. No need for showing off or exaggerating—just be yourself!
14. Nu komt de aap uit de mouw (Now the monkey comes out of the sleeve)
This phrase is used when a hidden truth, secret, or someone's real intentions finally come to light. It creates a vivid image, as if a magician has been keeping a monkey hidden up their sleeve, only for it to suddenly appear at just the right moment. It’s the Dutch way of saying, "Ah-ha! Now we see what’s really going on!"
15. Met je neus in de boter vallen (Falling with your nose in the butter.)
This means stumbling into a fortunate situation or having really good luck. The origin is a bit unclear, but the idea is that if you suddenly find yourself face-first in a pile of butter, you’re in a rich and luxurious (though very messy) situation!
16. Het regent pijpenstelen (It’s raining pipe stems)
This one is again about typical Dutch bad weather. The Dutch love their weather-related sayings, and this one is used when it’s pouring rain. Imagine long, thin pipe stems falling from the sky instead of raindrops—it’s a very visual way to describe a heavy downpour.
17. Klaar is kees (Kees is done)
The Dutch version of "That’s a wrap!" or "Job’s done!" No one knows exactly who this guy Kees is, but he’s always done with things. Just like how our list for now is done. But don’t worry, the Dutch language is packed with even more quirky, hilarious words and phrases just waiting to be discovered!
Do you have any favorite Dutch word or phrase? Please let me know in the comment section below! And for now, until next time—or as the Dutch might say, tot de volgende keer!
